Editorial - Let’s leave Santa and his pipe alone

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.

Not anymore, apparently. A self-published Candadian writer has helpfully excised that pair of lines from a classic Christmas poem, so as not to encourage impressionable children to take up St. Nick’s smoking habit.

Pamela McColl had good intentions – as a former smoker, she understands how difficult it is to quit once the habit is acquired. She removed the offending stanza and touched nothing else in her tobacco-free version. It’s no wonder that has caused some commotion, not the least of which emanates from the American Library Association, which continues to be amazed at how often a well-intentioned person or group tries to censor or ban a perfectly good piece of literature.

As with many pieces of beloved and acclaimed literature, Clement Clarke Moore’s “A Visit from St. Nicholas” is not politically correct in these health-conscious times. Helpful revisionists often take it upon themselves to “update” older pieces to be more mindful of today’s sensitivities.

What they end up doing is ruining the original rather than improving upon it.

Last year an Alabama professor attempted to sanitize “Huckleberry Finn,” the Mark Twain classic. Huck, as most of us who have gone to school know, had a pretty colorful vocabulary that included profanity, epithets now widely condemned as racist as well as biting comments about religion. The professor had the best motives – many school districts are reluctant to touch it because of the number of offensive themes, by today’s standards, at least. His hope was to bring the classic back into many classrooms.

But Huck was a product of his time, as is the St. Nick of Moore’s beloved poem. One doesn’t have to emulate or even like the character to appreciate the work. So maybe St. Nick’s author isn’t considered a literary masterpiece in many scholarly circles the way that “Huck Finn is. Nevertheless, it is among the most beloved Christmas poems ever. Moore’s descriptive language largely fashioned the image of the elf we Americans call Santa Claus – the suit of fur, the eight tiny reindeer with their individual names, the bundle of toys on his back, and his entrance via the chimney.

To date, however, there have been no reports of lingering secondhand smoke after the jolly man’s visit, or any widespread claims that Moore’s poem inspired them to sneak their first cigarette behind the garage. Is it really necessary to censor St. Nick to prevent children from taking up smoking?

What next? From what we can deduce from the many stories about him, Santa’s diet consists primarily of fresh-bakedcookies, lots of milk (probably the whole kind) and the occasional candy cane.

Will health-conscious children now start leaving him carrot sticks and spring water instead? (After all, the old boy probably needs to watch his cholesterol.)

Will the round little belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly be replaced with six-pack abs to promote exercise and healthy eating? Will the jolly old elf no longer be chubby and plump, but trim and buff?

Say it isn’t so.

If it’s all the same, we’ll take little St. Nick just the way he is – pipe, wreath of smoke, jiggling belly, and all.