Writing is slower in the heat. But now that Penang has been pouring torrents of persistent rain almost daily, I have no excuse.
Writing about myself has become virtually impossible. The thoughts are there, but the expression isn’t. How am I supposed to present myself in the span of a page or two without sounding self-absorbed or boring? My attempts have been meek and feeble as of late. I feel translucent, as if all my intentions are immediately obvious with this slipshod piece of writing.
Sometimes, it comes naturally, and I am able to just scoop words out like perfectly defrosted ice cream. Now, these sentences cling on like hardened peanut butter left at the bottom of the jar, and I’m left frustrated and exasperated.
I’ll write about food then. Cakes and chocolate, they have not failed me yet. The past year, things have been so dire and demotivating when it came to baking, I used up the last of my serotonin card to bake a proper layered cake for my sister’s birthday. It’s motivation enough when I know someone will gorge them all down.
Not bad not good but maybe sexy to the right people. Three buttery yellow layers sandwiched with heavy chocolate frosting, heightened like a soft-whipped butter with some time, patience and a whirring of the machine. The sculpture (if I may) is rich set with more ganache, the dark lush fudge don’t coat as effortlessly as soft cream would but they hold, steady, poised, trusty.
I have always taken pride in my unadorned creations – unleavened cakes, frosting seeping through the layers, lopsided stacks, sloppy pipings. But this one turned out to be more of a Crumbs & Dollies rendition, rather than the one that the fairy godmothers made for Sleeping Beauty, much to my amazement. It cuts like a dream, the cake intact and the layers satisfyingly immaculate.
This cake is more than a Happy Birthday cake, it’s a Thank You For Existing cake, a cake for the people I care for the most, the flavours we breathe and ate as children. Savouring it the short time that she is home.
Having woken up from a deep heady nap and then jumping right into an oddly psychedellic watch of Call Me By Your Name, it feels amazingly languorous. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend an entire languid summer reading books by the lakes and listening to music in your underwear? I’m so jealous.
I have to say, the scores in this movie are fucking fantastic. Love My Way by The Psychedelic Furs is aptly as psychedelic as it can get (word score, 3. Eek), and on top of Timothee Chalamet’s delicious French? I want to be spending my warm days in a crumbling villa in rural Italy with him seducing in his buttery French right now.
“To make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything, what a waste.” Damn, I think I am still broken from Michael Stuhlbarg’s beautiful monologue. The last part of the movie truly felt like an open heart surgery.
Some recent journal excerpts:
1. Speaking of sexy language, language learning isn’t going very sexy for me at the moment. Learning a new language is fun, but tough. It helps when you’re learning it for something, but I simply cannot find any motivation that would drive me to want to master new languages, other than the fact that I think being multilingual is so cool.
2. Oppenheimer, despite its mixed reviews, was mind-blowing to me. Butt cramps and boom scare aside, I loved the juxtaposition of the sciency facts that I cannot brain and the emotions that were inevitably entangled in this hero story. I am not completely familiar with Nolan’s works but the cinematography, and music scores, they blew me away wholly.
3. Minute joys: clouds, skies, seared toasts, coffee, soup, words underlined, voices, paintbrushes, questions, conversations, names. Moonhappy nights, quiet. Blissful mornings, giddy for the day.
4. I GOT THE ERAS TOUR TICKETS. My god. I can still barely believe it. It feels so liberating that I am listening to Tay’s songs with a heart and head so filled with euphoria. And delirium. It feels like I have used up a gazillion years of luck for this, and I will forever be awaiting some sort of calamity to befall me at any moment. But whatever. For now, I will relish in this joy.
5. Stop half-assing things. Full-ass everything.
6. I wonder if I’m pretty much wired to think about everything to the extremes. I still find it hard to wrap my head around the concept of balance and moderation. I either have a totally intellectually fulfilling day or I don’t. I’m either bursting with emotions or I’m a goddamn rock. Translating this lack of moderation to my creative endeavours, sometimes I’m so focused on creating something new and exciting that I forget the roots of my hobbies or the magic of a simple classic.
Of course, there’s plenty I don’t share from my journal, which is a messy mishmash of food bits and personal bits and fangirl bits.
So many emotions closing the loop on the first few months of 2023. Somedays I feel so much it turns physical and somedays I wonder if I will ever feel anything at all. Like a crazy whiplashing of one end of the extreme to another. Delirious with euphoria one day, and wholly numb the next. Bouts of anxiety attacks or just oddly detached. Either I’m head-over-heels obsessed or I don’t give a single fuck.
And then all of a sudden time felt aqueous and I started to have difficulty processing the days – I was either forcing myself to be hyper-focused on some task, or I was simply disassociated and staring blankly at the whirring blades of the bedroom fan. I figured time might make more sense in bowls, doughs, tins, and all those that I usually turn to on difficult days but I simply don’t have the appetite nor the time, and most of all, the energy.
I simply cannot bring myself to bake and document as much as I did a couple of years back, and even those were already casual. And when I do bake, it’s comforting enough to idle around the kitchen with music pounding in my ears and feeling a moment of contentment, and I just don’t want to snap anything at all after.
But after a few really really low weeks, I found that I needed to change the trajectory of this bleak entrapment that seems more and more comfortable to continue wallowing in, I was starting to scare myself, so here we are.
They don’t look great, but the process of getting these here and now feels like an achievement that’s deserving of a medal lol.
The truth of the matter is, that I find living to be a chore. As redundant as junk mails, as wearying as lugging a bag of bricks through life. I am not depressed, in fact, nearly every second of being awake I feel like a walking vessel of raging emotions, they consume me like fire. And I kind of want less of them. Throughout the years, I have learnt to keep a lid on my emotions, and not let them get in the way of what I have to do. But when I do that, life gets so unbearable boring and, god how grey the days would be to only loaf around meaninglessly and merely breeze through arts and creations and all that I live for. I start to crave any form of overpowering emotions, and I can literally feel myself bursting with all the things I need to say and emote. It’s a whole cycle and it is hella tiring lmao.
Even when everything is fine, there’s always so much stuff to do, so many emotions, so many ideas, thoughts, people. No real meaning behind it, and yet, there’s meaning to everything and I feel the need to capture it all the time, and when I fail, it’s a whole catastrophe for me. Eager for peace, yet still drawn to this stream of life.
Yeah Virginia Woolf is gonna have to stop being so relatable or else I’m gonna have to see a therapist
Often, I wonder if my introversion is tied to my emotions (I am a big fat F on the MBTI Fi and Ti spectrum). When I am around people, my emotions and their intensity are very much influenced by theirs. I become so aware of what everyone is doing and saying (the nuances of their actions, the shift in their tone as they are speaking, the minuscule muscle movement in their expressions), like some sort of alien analyzing its subject. When it gets too much, I would crave to be alone, so that I can process those feelings better, free from external influences and completely distilled. They’re almost always much more potent.
These excessive emotions are constant and EXHAUSTING dear god, and the effort to restrain or stamp them down, even more so. At my worst, though, (and to refrain from taking them out on other people, especially family) I wind up just isolating myself from the outside world and not talking to anyone for days on end.
One thing I would love to have now, is a good stretch of normal, easy days as a result of a quiet mind. But not to the point where I’m fully detached. Interested, but not obsessed. A perfectly normal middle ground, not swinging back and forth violently between two antipodes.
I hate having to be one adding to the sea of wretched and gloomy things on the internet, especially when there are many I’m sure, who are struggling with worse and might prefer coming across a light-hearted read. But I hope, in some twisted sense, that this could help comfort anyone who may be able to relate. Know that you aren’t alone. And that you’re not a sociopath lol.
I’ll list just a couple of excerpts from my journal of what makes me want to live – a habit I developed years ago (and an idea from a movie) when I struggle to find balance, to feel or not to feel.
When I see the blue canvas of the morning sky fill with burgeoning clouds of shapes I have never seen, and the evening ombres of colours I never knew existed.
When I walk past my bookshelf to make my bed and I catch a whiff of the books.
When I hear my friend squeal at the sight of her favourite flavoured cookie I had made for her.
When someone tells me that they have read my writings. I want to kiss them.
When I watch old cliché romcoms.
When my favourite singer releases a new song.
When I hear someone calling me by my name. I am… a physical entity.
When I sink my hands into warm dough.
When I read a quote that knocks the breath out of me.
When I see a baby sprout apprehensively peeking through the soil in my vase.
When I take the first sip of my coffee.
When I hear the languid hum of my neighbour downstairs when she hangs her sarongs out to dry.
When I hear my parents laugh at a conversation they have alone.
The season has changed, people leave and it’s a piercing ache. More than 20 years of living to come to the realization that I don’t sit well with change.
Some books I have kept on my shelves since I was a kid, some items or sentiments I have in that biscuit tin hibernating in my drawer until I take them out every once in a while to make googly eyes and smile sappy smiles at them, some songs that greet me like an old friend with its familiar opening strums of the guitar. Some recipes that live ambient, silent lives jangling in my back pocket that I only recall when I turn my pants inside out to stuff into the wash.
Just last month, I was laughing with a friend over my attachment issues, after a frantic display of me almost losing a cherished item, and I realized that I wasn’t embarrassed by that trait of mine, nor did I see it as a curse. In fact, I was proud of my sensitivity and vulnerability. It reminds me of that kid who wailed when her sister threw her pillow out of the window by accident. I still sleep with it today.
There will always be goodbyes —to the empty jars of condiments as they drip-feed the seasoning of your days. The dress which knew your skin for years and, after one washing machine accident, shrunk all that tactile understanding beyond repair; the roommate to who you come home every day and talk about your days as you both cook dinner moves back home after graduation and you barely talk anymore. It’s been years and I have noticed fading scars and blotched redness here and there, recurring soreness after a trauma; the body keeps ticking measure of the days. Somehow these sentiments accompanied me throughout and ended many different phases of my life; time and years looped in my attachment to people and items and memories.
But given all that, I think I handled pretty darn well this year. New paths, new desires, new skills, new relationships, new places; every time I am learning to embrace change and to make space for more… attachments lol.
The year-end can be a lot about looking back but I hope everyone can do so with kindness. And cake. The batter may be too runny, the dough too stiff, the cake too wobbly. Go ahead and bake it, let cool and it will still be delicious.
Few of my bakes this year. Some were baked with excitement, of picturing a friend’s eyes lighting up when I deliver some to her; some baked with a heart of gloaming and exhaustion deep in my bones; some their batter I whacked almost desperately as if they were a tasteless sea of discarded hopes and colourless shame; and some baked in a kitchen with a cloud of air that smells of cinnamon, burnt sugar, raspberry, toasted almonds, and soothing hums coming from both the heating oven and a heart bursting with joy and warmth and hope.
In October, I was hopeful. But the dawn of November nipped away at that; absent-minded replies, forgotten invitations, unreciprocated excitement, a string of projects unrecognized. So ridiculous to nitpick in light of larger things, but ultimately I have trivialized my own emotions more than enough times to know that repression would just turn them into weapons.
I will always remember this cake, for better or for worse, the amount of carrot juice staining my hands, the lump collecting in my throat, the grit of my teeth as I tamped it down, and the sting in my eyes that betrayed me, as I grate and whisk forcefully, the soreness in both my arms the morning after.
I have always been one for leaving it to time, to do its silent work of de-weeding all things bitter in my bubble of emotions, slow but sure, all while having a barricade up that’ll crumble away only once time deems me strong enough to handle anything that comes my way again, be it roses or bullets.
But it struck me how this aggressive-bake session is quite a change from me moping around and is pretty much a depiction of “channeling your emotions” (from mental health sites that loves teaching people how to handle their “negative” emotions the “healthy” way). I wonder if I would be able to taste the emptiness in my cake like how Rose Edelstein could taste the unsettling sadness in her mother’s lemon cake. I wonder what that would taste like.
I let the cake bake in the somber of the kitchen, dense and damp, quiet with nothing but the purr of the oven. I let it sit to cool through hours of rain, nearly forgotten until my stomach rumbled along with the storm outside.
The frosting was suspiciously silky, despite the almost-stale cream and unstrained cream cheese. I do not like resorting to giving positive nuances to common daily tasks done right but sometimes, that is all we have to trudge through another day. Every time I bake, I am choosing to do that.
And yet, there is such incredible warmth in a golden slab, something so pure in form, glowing almost. As I frosted, my head was filled with not so much thoughts of loneliness or chagrin towards people as how soothing the scent of cinnamon was or how my mum will love the muscly walnuts in the cake, or how much sweeter tomorrow’s breakfast will be.
Yes, into. Not “up to”. Though both are correlated in a way. But I am never up to anything much, and literally speaking, I haven’t really been up much at all.
It’s been a real hot minute since I last did the things I usually do and love, – baking, writing – on here. More so a scale-back on the frequency of these hobbies just because I didn’t have the time, the equipment, or the internet to keep me going. Nothing vexes me more than a slow faulty wifi connection I swear to God. So I have been trying my hands on some things new to keep myself occupied, found joy in old loves again, and gotten myself immersed into hobbies that, for some, I never thought I would enjoy.
I am one of those who gets sucked into a project once I have that interest piqued, and I wouldn’t know how to pull myself away from it. If it’s a new skill or an activity, I scroll online to know what I should know, tackle the basics and then lose myself in it and not look away until it is done. If I fall in love with a book or a song or a movie, I search for everything related to the author, the singer or the artists and etc. I forget to eat, I forget to pee, I forget to talk to anyone, I think about it during work, I revolve my life around it for weeks on end. It isn’t healthy, but it is oddly gratifying.
Here’s my word vomit of some things I dove headfirst into. Because boy, did I plunge.
1. Obi
My sister’s British bulldog. Her squished wrinkled face, stubby legs, flappy tongue that’s always out, a whole butt that twerks when she walks. Squishy squishy rolly rolly. She’s the reason I look forward to on Instagram each day, the reason I smile like a fool at my phone, the reason my heart skips a beat at the notification bell sounding for my sister’s text, the reason I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. She’s the love of my life except that she doesn’t know that.
All she does is sleep and play and sleep. Just a silly lil’ happy dog, though her perpetually downcast jowly face looks like it says otherwise.
No mum I am not smiling at a sweet good morning text from a secret lover, I am smiling at a video of Obi slobbering and chewing on her celery stick.
Feel My Rhythm is incredible. A refreshing pop song amidst the horde of badassery in girl groups these days. The concept pictures (graceful music box ballerinas and mesmerizing spring fairy princesses in an enchanting garden) were INSANELY beautiful, and the MV and song, even more so.
The editing makes this so enthralling, yet a little eerie
Irene has the face card for sure
Do you seehow STUNNING??
There’s so much to say about this comeback, I don’t even know where to begin.
Musically, goddamn. Everything is so well orchestrated, so intricately arranged, so ethereal. The use of the classical piece floored me; Bach’s “Air on the G string” was woven in gorgeously, combined with the manic EDM production, dissonant wild pop beats, layered with the girls’ heavenly vocals and exceptional harmonizations… a LITERAL masterpiece. Listening to the songs feels unsettling, cloying, chaotic and hypnotizing all at the same time, and yet everything’s so holistic and cohesive and intentional. It starts off so spellbindingly dreamy with the Bach interpolation and Wendy’s angelic vocals, then it gets outrightly loud and rambunctious, and finally slows down to the most magical frickin bridge (I actually teared); the whole roller-coaster of a ride reminiscent to a masquerade ball or some otherwordly faerie festival. Where it’s superficially whimsical and fun but is actually mysteriously sinister once you join the party. Wow, I just wrote the ultimate bulls-eye description of Red Velvet and their entire discography in the last sentence itself.
The music video? IMPECCABLE. Everything about this comeback is really a tribute to some of the world’s greatest artists (musically and er, artistically) with the entire settings in the MV referencing famous paintings such as Bosch, Ophelia, Monet, Botecelli etc.
Lady Looking Behind the Wall by Paul Dominique Phillipoteaux
Ophelia by John Everett Millais (1852)
Woman With a Parasol by Claude Monet (1875)
Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus by John William Waterhouse (1900) Comparisons pictures & more taken from here!
It pays homage to theatrics as well, with the Swan Lake-esque outfits and choreo, the horrifying bird creatures that will haunt my nightmares, and god have mercy, Seugi’s dark Maleficient look which trumps any other k-pop looks in history. A thorough read-through can be read here and here!
Seulgi can step on me.
These looks, the sets, everything
I genuinely cannot fathom that people actually straight-up dislike this album. It’s literally top-tier art. There are tons of pop tracks that have tried infusing the classical music element but just end up sounding odd and disjointed, but SM really just ACES the weird music mixing trend. Geniuses work for that company.
I’m no expert when it comes to music or song productions, nor am I a classical music connoisseur. For Feel My Rythm, it isn’t even primarily Bach’s sample that made it a masterpiece, nor was the song supposed to do the classical piece justice. They were meant to be strung together as seamlessly as the musicians’ brilliant minds can make them, and create an entirely new piece of music, that is not the same symphonic-Bach-piece, or some poor attempt to simply include a classic sample so that it is dubbed “innovative”. See, I think we should all just stop holding classical music in such high regard. Music is music, with its amazing contributions and underlying faults. But with this song (and with SM’s music in general), you can hear years of refinement and evolution in the execution of this concept. Adventurous and unique but not pretentious, in-your-face but exceedingly intricate. That’s what I respect and admire.
A video everyone should watch. A reaction and review of RV’s Feel My Rhythm by a group of musicians who appreciate a diverse range of music. What makes this particular reaction video all the more amazing, is that the reactors are classical musicians. Hoho.
In My Dreams
When I said this Red Velvet album is a musical gem…
In My Dreams has become my favourite RV b-side (which is saying a lot as RV is known to be the queens of b-sides), and in fact, it’s easily one of my favourite songs of ALL k-pop b-sides.
It starts with this Disney-esque fairytale chord that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud, and then they come in with the most haunting line ever.
“In my dreams, you love me back.”
Wow that’s… disturbingly sad.
And for that itself, I fell in love. You don’t even need to understand Korean, that sentence itself tells you the entire story. One-line stories, especially when used in lyric writings, are so ingenious to me.
It’s very much like IU’s Eight; the song starts off making you think it’s going to be an upbeat feel-good one, and then she hits you with an eerily poignant line (“So are you happy now? Finally happy now, are you?”) that makes you stop short as the realization dawns on you that you’re not supposed to jam to this song like how you jam to “Shake It Off”.
In My Dreams did hit me like that, in the best way possible. Irene’s part, especially, expresses the bittersweet line perfectly; you can hear the emptiness, the longing, and the sadness in the way she sings it (Lana Del Rey who?). A sort of unnerving beauty that is very much Red Velvet, I get chills every time. Of course, breathtaking harmonies and vocals are a given in their songs as always.
Do give this album a listen!
3. K-Drama, as always
Dear M
Dear M’s official Facebook
It feels like I have waited half my life for this drama to be released. And I am so so relieved I loved it, so much so that I am debating on writing a proper review on this drama. The minute the cast and the plot were revealed, I was invested.
A light-hearted college romance drama? Exactly what I needed as a foundation of salve to my non-existent love life. Besties-to-lovers? My favourite trope ever. I love the silent jealousy, the unrequited pining, the sudden sweet gestures masked as tender affections out of familiarity, the slow burn of all slow burns – oof so good.
Poor dude
Besties don’t look at each other with this much love, for one.
And the cast? Park Hye Soo is the queen of coming-of-age romcoms. And of course… Jaehyun. The resident heartthrob of NCT. Mr. Dreamy himself. Those sultry eyes, chiseled cheekbones, and deep dimples. What a face.
A face that gets you luxury brand deals. Life is unfair. Pic fromPinterest.
SO this will be my mini Jaehyun swoon sesh. Frankly, I was a little skeptical about his acting at first but I thought he did great, considering it’s his first acting stint. One thing I cannot stand is newbies OVER-acting. That makes me cringe more than a bland expression for some reason. But Jaehyun managed to deliver just enough, and at times, even withholding emotions when his character was supposed to. I love that, it’s like how Kim Soo Hyun is always struggling to HOLD BACK his tears while some others try to squeeze theirs out of their sockets just to express sadness.
To be fair though, Jaehyun’s character wasn’t a tough role and is just easy to like – a humble college kid (Cha Min Ho) who is studying and working hard to save scraps of his part-time wages and is hopelessly in love with his best friend (Ma Joo Ah) whom he teases incessantly (c’mon).
Dear M’s official Facebook
Cha Min Ho feels like a Jaehyun, if he isn’t a celebrity. They’re similar in some aspects so I think it was easier for him to relate to, but somehow it didn’t feel fully Jaehyun. He made his character one that breathes and lives within the story, and even when there were moments that made me chuckle about their differences or similarities, I didn’t question the reality of his character. Despite some parallels, Cha Min Ho simply existed on his own – as a character that is similar to the actor in terms of their soothing personality, but still, his reactions were his own reactions, his dilemma and desires and stories that of Cha Min Ho himself. And it seems like that is how acting should work. It wasn’t a mind-blowing performance – mostly bland that it’s borderline boring, but he definitely isn’t the weakest idol in terms of acting.
Or I may be biased and have been completely blinded by his pretty face, but if that’s why he was casted, it’s working.
I think what really helped too was their characters’ impeccable chemistry. You can’t really go wrong with two childhood friends falling in love with each other. The chemistry and the affection (no matter how they try to hide it) are already there. I really enjoyed Min Ho’s flustered expression every time Joo Ah gets too close to him; and in turn, the panic in her eyes when he does something that a bestie shouldn’t do – the twitch in his jaw when she jabbers on about her hot crush, and the adoration on his face he probably doesn’t even realize he has when he looks at her.
OOOOOOO omg that’s one bold move
Falling for a long-time bestie is such a complex situation
I have so much to squeal about in this drama that a brief write-up here won’t do. It isn’t the best drama – or the best college drama even – by a mile (Weightlifting Fairy still holds that title), but it was a fun watch with all the cliches and tropes I was hoping for, and I did not feel like I wasted my time watching it. The OST is GREAT too, that’s always a plus. And Jaehyun’s face is just veeery nice to look at.
4. Pinterest
Pics are all from Pinterest
I have had a Pinterest board for a while now for French fashion, pretty interiors, film shots, quirky doodles and it is making me so very calm and happy. For many years I’ve forgotten how much I love old, moody things. When I was a teen I was obsessed with Tumblr and it started out as a more aesthetic page; the fangirling edits existed as an aesthetic branch too but the reining theme was still wispy, old, pretty things. The delicate heel of a suede ankle boot, a vintage vase holding blossoming flowers by the windowsill, an elegant tattoo snaking slim arms, an unusual floor tile. Coming back to that is very nostalgic in the best possible way.
5. Crocheting
So this past year I have made three articles of clothing for myself, plus a few others I gifted to my sister. It has only been a few months since I started but I’ve been crocheting a storm. I’m not sure where the interest came from, or when it arose, but it’s wonderfully satisfying to create, to look forward to the end-product of my creations, and to have that sense of pride when I flaunt my work.
My favourites are these pieces – the bucket hat and the cardigan – which Joy wore in her MV. I was trying to manifest looking like her. Not that it worked.
Crocheting is a soothing process, it exercises my focus and keeps my hands busy and away from excessive phone scrolling (whoops). Above all that, MORE CLOTHES I don’t have to spend my money on to possess. Also, yes, I do very much enjoy it.
As much as I love to crochet, it feels weird sitting and crocheting for hours at a time without accomplishing anything else. It’s such a good activity to multitask (my downfall, I believe) with another activity that makes me feel guilty for indulging in all by itself; eg watching dramas, movies, Youtube videos, etc. I had the time of my life listening to an Agatha Christie audiobook about a murder spree, as I crochet a delicate head scarf.
6. Fantasy
For someone who is a die-hard Wizarding World geek (#Potterhead4lyfe), it baffled me for the longest time how I just could not seem to like any other YA Fantasy I have read growing up. I think I have finally figured out why.
I do like fantasy. I like the world-building of a whole realm that an author paints and the readers imagine. But there’s something about reading this genre that just makes me physically ill.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what is it about the YA fantasy that I don’t vibe with, but I think it’s the tendency for these books to follow a certain formula – a young poor girl who is a badass warrior because she has incredible hunting skills, gets whisked into this whole other dimension she didn’t know exist, where a (or two) hot high-position prince or lord falls in love with her. Basically an overuse of the “Not Like Other Girls” trope which just makes me dislike the character herself as well as the rest of the characters falling for her. And when I hate a character, I cannot continue, no matter how amazing the writing or the plot is.
I’ll admit that I’m a rather picky reader. I am not trying to be elitist; I don’t have a problem with writing quality or any of that sort. I don’t even cringe at the ridiculousness of certain magical elements or magic “laws” the author comes up with, I just go along with them. I rarely complain about plots either, but I always find myself rolling my eyes at any overplayed romance or at characters I come to detest even though the author is clearly trying hard to make us like them.
From Shadow and Bone on Netflix. Though I wish Six of Crows would have their own series.
BUT, this book. Six Of Crows was the book I picked up upon deciding to give YA Fantasy a chance again and whew, I LOOOVED it. It was such a blast to read – fast-paced, strong individualistic characters, witty and full of humour, mind-blowing plot twists (very omg). The romance was well-balanced, with no polyamorous or intensely toxic relationship being romanticized. I guess I didn’t mind the romance in this because it wasn’t heavily focused on any love triangle nonsense. It was really just a story about a group of thieves working together to steal a whole lot of moolah. Being a character-over-plot person, I really liked that the characters’ personalities are so vastly different from one another but are all equally as strong, each with their own well-developed stories and worldview that creates this amazingly interesting relationship among them. The writing itself was phenomenal, and the first book (it’s a duology) sets up the plot for the next book extremely well. Crooked Kingdom was even better.
It is what I wish the genre as a whole would be, instead of bad imitations of, say, Hunger Games or Divergent or The Maze Runner (all of which I did not even enjoy). Both books from this duology were such a breeze to read. Characters I adored, an interesting plot, no Katniss Everdeen wannabe. I love it.
Granted, I was excited for this drama to air solely because I found out that Park Hae Young is the writer (who also wrote My Mister, which is truly a shining beacon of all K-dramas), but wow. I didn’t think I would get sucked into the drama so much so that it could nearly rival My Mister.
I love it so much, I sat in my room staring blankly at my screen with the OST playing in my ears for a whole hour after the finale ended.
Park Hae Young is a genius. That’s all I really have to say.
I seem to have an affinity toward slice-of-life dramas, despite spending years vehemently rooting for chick-flicks and absurdly cliched Korean rom-coms, because I hated this harsh treacherous grim world. I wanted to melt into a puddle of K-drama goo and have my heart ripped out from my chest – nothing I can attain in real life. At least not in mine anyway.
But My Liberation Notes is palatably real; a drama with ordinary people in an ordinary world and no plot whatsoever, just snippets of the characters’ lives that are painfully relatable in its mundanity. The main quartet that consists of a trio of siblings – Mi Jung (Kim Ji Won), Ki Jung (Lee El) and Chang Hee (Lee Min Ki) – and the enigmatic Mr. Gu (Son Suk Ku), are lost and lonely characters caught in their seemingly empty and mediocre lives, but with intricately complex emotions, and each struggling to escape their own demons that have them held down in a vice grip.
Seconds in and I was hooked, I found solace in every one of the episodes till the last. I don’t think many will agree, but I have found a sizeable amount of people that have been absolutely charmed by it. Despite it being too slow-paced and lacking the theatrics for the mainstream audience, I find that it is a calming yet pensive show that captures the “languishing” feeling that we all feel in our living journey sometimes.
Some seek comfort in loudness, and others may seek it in glaring silence.
I knew this drama was easily the top drawer for me because I wasn’t hit with superfluous scenes and over-the-top characterizations just for the sake of “meaning” or to be Tumblr-esque like those terrible quotes from sensational TikTok books. As distinct as the characters are, I was invested in every one of them because I could relate to their woes and I recognize myself in them – most particularly, Mi Jung.
It’s flabbergasting how I identify with Mi Jung so wholly. Her character truly strikes a chord with me – an extreme, extreme introvert (it’s almost concerning), who habitually shuns social interactions, often trying to look busy so I don’t have to make small talks with anyone, and laughs awkwardly in social settings. And all that while, yearning for deeper connections, and hoping to finally rise against the waves of loneliness that threatens to drown me ever so often.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine ugh
Why would people ask questions when they don’t care for the answers?????
lmao me in social settings
LOUDEEERRRR
Mi Jung is everything I am, but bolder and cooler. The subtlety in the curation of her character is so insanely clever; it’s so pleasing to see an introverted character that isn’t just a boring social outcast or a shy and fragile girl who spews rainbow words that moves a crowd during the rare moments she opens her mouth. In the first episode itself, I was crying at the quiet narration and Mi Jung’s microexpressions. The way she puts on an amiable facade at her workplace, the way she bottles up her emotions, knowing that it isn’t of any use trying to explain the complexity of her feelings. The way she tends to prickle upon sensing a heightened and shifting atmosphere around her and goes very still, her face blank. The almost naive hope that maybe her genuity would come through and be enough in this society. The fervent need to be seen and loved the way she is.
Every word she utters feels like my own. I was so immersed in the relatability of Mi Jung, that the realness of her character might just bring about my depression.
“Every moment I’m awake feels like work.” Relatable. “I wouldn’t mind if the world ends tomorrow.” Relatable. Having an imaginary boyfriend to feel just a tinge of excitement in life. REELAYTABAL.
“I’d be living the same mundane life, and no one would ever be interested in me. I felt that if I lived like this for too long, I’d shrivel up and die. That’s why I invented you.You, who I’ll meet someday. To you, at least, I wouldn’t be that ordinary, right? I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know where you are. And I’ve never met you. Who could you be?“
Introversion being a highlight of this drama is such a breath of fresh air. I think it is about time society understands how introversion is as much of a normal character trait as extroversion is. It isn’t a flaw. It isn’t wrong to feel the most spending time all alone at home and it isn’t wrong to choose to keep thoughts and problems to yourself. Society caters so heavily to loud and confident individuals, and people’s opinions of how admirable a person is are centered around how friendly and popular they are. I hope you might start to realize how skewed this judgment of an individual is.
These company lunchmates things are complete nightmares
For real.
I love how they are silently but very furiously agreeing HAHA
Peak introvert behaviour.Blame it all on the world!
Mi Jung isn’t quiet because her boss is a dickhead and colleagues leave her out often. Her boss is a dickhead and her colleagues leave her out BECAUSE she is quiet. In a society so obsessed with reputation, stature, and influence, her shy nature, along with her lack of life achievements and non-extravagant background, don’t impress many.
And that’s the thing about society that I absolutely loathe. Why is it that the superficial components are the essential ones? Are people truly that afraid to peel layers and layers of a person’s personality because what they find underneath might tarnish the idea that was already built in the first place? Or does that take too much time to be bothered with, that what seems to matter – followings and influence – will do? Does it hurt less when you feel disappointed by your judgment a little later down the road?
If only I could list the amount of times I meet someone new, and feel my smile slip off my face as if being dragged down by their gaze scanning my entirety from top-down, their eyes losing the enthusiasm whilst growing in disparagement, as they wonder what to make of my worth. I usually fall under the uncool and unimportant category.
It’s funny how everyone preaches about kindness and openness on their esteemed social pages, yet their compassion is selective and their judgment mimics the majority, or whatever that seems to be the trending opinion that is usually based off a shallow article online, all just to look like they are standing up for a cause. No one is interested in anyone unpretentious or anything less than showy, it seems.
Men are blind I swear
I cannot fathom those who commented on how “bland” or “plain Mi Jung’s character is, of that she is too quiet, almost pitiable, and perhaps she is borderline depressed – all because she keeps her thoughts to herself. And mind you, her thoughts are anything but. Mi Jung is quiet but highly introspective. She has a way of speaking her thoughts where she uses the most bizarre and unusual concepts to capture something that most people probably feel but never really know how to articulate.
Admittedly, they are a little unsettling at times. Especially when those thoughts are voiced out loud. The things she says can sound so preposterous that it could only come from the mind and mouth of someone who spends a lot of time in their own heads. They are full-on angsty and sinister, almost, but mostly just bizarre. Still, it is reassuring. I wish to be able to voice mine out loud without worrying about how they might come across to people, how I would be viewed, or how many I might offend. Unfortunately, I do care and am not at all ballsy that way. And my mum might force me into therapy.
Mr. Gu’s face is cracking me up
“Why they got to die like that” *slurps coffee loudly*
Which is why I absolutely adore Mi Jung and Mr. Gu’s relationship, and the Liberation Club. Both outcomes of Mi Jung letting herself be heard.
Her choices of unexpected words baffle people, but she has her own reasons and interpretation of it. Like how she asked Mr. Gu to “worship” her. When they had barely spoken three lines to each other before that.
“Should I give you something to do?” ooooo this line thoooooo
Was not ready for this scene. Was shocked, sorry for her, and feeling butterflies all at once
날 추앙해요 (Worship/Revere me) I literally had to google the word, I thought maybe Netflix was being off with the subtitles again
Squealing
“Love isn’t enough. Worship me.”
Goddamn. I could never muster up the courage to say that to anyone. Especially when he looks as hot as Son Suk Ku. Actually, you know what, I might take that chance especially if he DOES look like Son Suk Ku.
Once I got over the shock of Mi Jung demanding a random man to worship her, I understood. See, introverts really can’t feel whole because our imaginations and the inner world that we created are richer than what humans and life can really give us. After a shitty day of discovering her ex stole her life savings, her boss being the usual asshat that he is, her colleagues leaving her out yet again, and being pressured to join an after-work club (god, this company sounds like the eighth circle of hell), she finally broke down, exhausted with the usual humdrum of life that only seem to go on in a cycle.
“I’m exhausted. I don’t know when it all started to go wrong, but I am exhausted. Every relationship feels like work. Every moment I’m awake feels like work. Nothing ever happens. No one ever likes me.”
If that isn’t the most relatable monologue ever.
It isn’t the love or attention that she wants. For once in her life, Mi Jung wants to selfishly and completely feel wanted and respected; she wants someone to revolve their life around her, and so this is her asking Mr. Gu to put meaning into her life and to make her feel worthy. When Mr. Gu did ask her several episodes later on what it means to worship someone, Mi Jung had replied, “To cheer them on. To tell them they can do anything.”
Certainly it is an odd choice of word (a normal attempt would be “Would you date me?”) but Mi Jung’s thoughts are, well, not normal. She is raw and honest and aggressively brutal when it comes down to what she truly wants to say. I know people have different faces they show to the world depending on what “role” they are trying to fulfill at the moment, but the various aspects of Mi Jung are so extreme that it can be shocking to see. But that’s exactly what makes her so interesting. I personally love it when she gets feisty, she reminds me of Ji An lol.
ugh asshole
you tell him Mi Jung
Now that we have mentioned Mr. Gu… ah, love. Love? I wasn’t sure at first but they came to really show their naked and vulnerable selves when they are together – speaking their minds, thoughts, and complaints so openly. It is surprising yet gratifying to see two quiet individuals being so relaxed in each other’s company, and the silent elation they exude upon seeing each other. In particular, I am obsessed with how Mr. Gu just listens silently (his face adoring, amused, even appalled at times lmao) when Mi Jung just goes on and on and on about anything and everything – an outlet someone like her needs.
“I used to not talk unless someone made me. Would anyone want to hear what I have to say? But now, I just say whatever’s in my head. It just comes out. And… I have this feeling I’ve never had before. Suddenly, I feel loveable.”
Aw look at them bonding over how annoying humans are. #relationshipgoals
At a glance, it seems like a story about trying to find love that’ll spice up their lives. Yet the more their stories unravel, the clearer it was that it is actually a journey of self-love. Which, in retrospect, could be much more difficult to do.
Nevertheless, they are cute as heck.
Sure, love and worshipping is all beautiful, but for Mi Jung, there is also a deep-seated self-loathing, self-effacement and diffidence that hampers her from enjoying her life. (If, well, I have to speak from experience) It’s the feeling of being an outcast with the accompanying helplessness of not knowing how to escape introversion. But then, why should we overcome that? Just for others to accept us? As unsettling and as wrong as we know it is, it seems the only way to also overcome the longing for genuine companionship and the overarching sense of pointlessness in questioning the futility of trying anything. But still, we try, and it seems to fill no void. And that, in turn, hones the contempt for people who do not see an introvert trying, alongside the self-deprecating spiral.
The way I have complained about everything Mi Jung complains about does not say good things about my mental health…
I want to have this entire scene and monologue tattooed all over my body like a second skin:
When I was young, we had to write about what we would like to pray for at church. Looking at what my friends wrote, I thought, “Why would they pray for those?Grades, the school they want to get into, friends. They’re seriously praying for those? To God? But it’s God.”
There was only one thing I was curious about. “What am I? Why am I here?” I didn’t exist before 1991, and won’t exist in 50 years, but I feel like I existed before that and will still exist after that. The feeling that I’ll exist forever. I’ve been frustrated by that feeling, and I have never, in my heart, ever, felt settled.
I feel uneasy in bed, I feel uneasy around people. “Why can’t I laugh happily like other people? Why am I sad all the time? Why am I always nervous? Why is everything so boring?”
It feels like people are all scarecrows. They don’t really know what they are. They are just acting as if they do. In a way, people who say they live healthily and happily may be the people who decided to put all these questions behind them. People who have decided to lie and say, “This is just how life is.”
I’ll never do that. I don’t care about where I’ll go after I die. But I want to see heaven while I’m alive.
Rather a paradox from the relationship of the leads that bloomed from ‘worshipping’, the drama did a wonderful job on portraying the theme of self-love.
The times Mi Jung has her walls down around the few people she is comfortable with – those who accept her fully as she is – she gets uncharacteristically chatty and charmingly quirky, but all in her quiet, amiable way, if that makes sense. Apart from Mr. Gu, she is also that way with a childhood friend, Hyuna. And it’s no surprise why.
Mi Jung:People are so good with words. If I ever get to be born again, I want to be born as you.
Hyuna: Once you reach a certain point, you start playing with your words. And once you start to enjoy drawing attention to yourself with your words, there’s no turning back. Do you think there’s even a single thing coming out of my mouth that’s actually worthwhile? There isn’t. Not one. So I don’t want you to ever reach that point.
Looove the juxtaposition of the conversation between two close friends with such different personalities. While Mi Jung admires Hyuna’s ability to talk freely, Hyuna wishes she was more like Mi Jung, whose words are sparse but more meaningful.
“I like that you don’t try to get attention from people with your words.That’s why each and every word you utter is so precious.”
That is just about one of the best things someone could say to an introvert. Just look at the smile on Mi Jung’s face!!
I took waay too long to talk about this – The Liberation Club!!
Look at how cute this is.
Literally a club proposed by three introverts – Mi Jung, a single father Tae Hun, and Sang Min – who refuse to join any other work club they were forced to, so they decided to start their own. Genius.
lmao
And then Mi Jung comes in and blows everyone’s mind.
Them three are the cutest ever
“The Republic of Korea was liberated in 1945, but we have yet to find liberation.” HAHAHA
What’s even more genius is the whole concept of the club. Think a group therapy of sorts, where the members just talk about what they want to be liberated from in life. These are the rules of the club:
I will not pretend to be happy.
I will not pretend to be unhappy.
I will be honest.
Do not give advice.
Do not try to comfort.
Simply offload your thoughts.
Brilliant brilliant BRILLIANT idea wtf. Forget dumb ice breakers that just add to my anxiety, a liberation club is the best way to meet strangers and to actually get to know people. No small talks, no “fun facts” shenanigans that tell me absolutely nothing of a person, just straight into the dark and grim thoughts in the deepest depth of one’s mind and heart. Totally my speed.
I wish conversations are honest and raw and shocking and eye-opening. I wish people didn’t talk just to keep a conversation going or the atmosphere buzzing or just to feel like we exist. I wish I didn’t have to laugh again and again over the same jokes I don’t find funny. I wish society thrives on authenticity instead of bullshitery.
From Mi Jung’s liberation diary
Another thing this drama does right, is how introverts evolve and grow through time. I always hated the notion of a meek character coming out of his/her shell by giving a speech in front of the whole crowd, as if they are finally “overcoming” their introversion (god, the frustration of living in a society that still tends to reward the natural behaviors of extroverted people). MLN, however, shows how Mi Jung learns to be comfortable with herself and the people around her, and how that makes her blossom. She went a long way from desperately asking people to make her feel worthy, to her making others feel whole, even if it’s only subconsciously. The more she helps Mr. Gu and the Liberation Club members, the more she understands herself and the more she finds new meaning and glimpses of genuine happiness in her life in return.
Bless Mi Jung and her steadfast persistence and patient outlook on life. The last few episodes show how much she has grown. Her advice to fill up 5 minutes of happiness each day to make life bearable (instead of how she used to trudge on like a cattle without rhyme or rhythm) is a lifesaver. It is such an attainable concept, especially for people struggling, and I love how it celebrates the power of small victories. Both Mr. Gu and I have started to incorporate it into our lives.
It’s so elating to see Mi Jung flourishing on her own and even helping others maneuver through life. To think she was such a timid lady who harbored so much self-resentment and believed that she was not worthy of love because she was flawed. She lets go of all that and is rewarded with love and peace and it’s beautiful. It is, well, liberating.
“I am Yeom Mi Jung. I can rise above this. I have done it before when I didn’t even feel loveable.”
It all strikes a painfully tragic chord with me, and by sympathizing with a character that portrayed everything I internalized, this beautiful journey of watching MLN felt like I was giving myself comforting pats as well.
I had hoped with all my heart that Mi Jung would learn to love herself without the need for external validation. I had hoped she would realize how special she is and not let those who don’t see that, blight her self-awareness. From time to time, I’ll make sure to remind myself too.
After all, the road to liberation is a journey, one that doesn’t just appear on your doorstep tied up in a bow. We move in small steps towards it, fall behind occasionally, get back up to trudge on, and search for the 5 minutes of happiness while we are at it. And that is what makes the pursuit of it all the more meaningful.
“There’s nothing but love in my heart. So I can’t feel anything but love.”
And so it ends, and it begins.
AMAZING QUOTES/DIALOGUES
“What about you? Have you ever made anyone feel whole before?”-Mr. Gu, Ep 3
“Repetitive relationships you jump into to find something you love about yourself, only to come out of them even more sure of how unattractive you truly are. Where then should we look for the answer?” -Mi Jung, Ep 3
“I don’t know why I have to live. But let’s live a decent life while I’m alive.” -Mi Jung, Ep 6
“I hate the sight of people moving around in front of me. I hate it more when they start talking. I have to listen to their gibberish and have to say gibberish back to them.” -Mr. Gu, Ep 6
“I’m a really scary person. I won’t even blink if I was stabbed in the stomach. But you scare me. I get nervous when you’re in front of me. And that annoys me because I feel like an idiot. Still, I wait for you. You should know. You should know who you are.” -Mr. Gu, Ep 7
“Life is a series of embarrassments anyway.” -Chang Hee, Ep 8
“I may not be able to be completely liberated from time, but resting when I’ve done enough, and waking up when I’ve slept enough. Finding my own rhythm like that might be the liberation I need the most.” – Mr. Park
“The weaker you are, the more evil you get. That’s why evil people have a pitiful side to them.” – Mr. Gu, Ep 11
“I wish I was genuinely happy and am able to say things like, “Yes, this is life. This is what life is all about.”” – Mi Jung, Ep 11
“Everyone is on their way to their graves, so why is everyone so happy and excited?” – Mi Jung
“Sometimes, I think that people who are damaged are much more honest than those who live their lives happily.” – Mi Jung
“Fate is nothing more than a person’s outlook on life.” – Mrs. Yeom
“Do I have to have a goal? Can’t I just live my life without one? I can’t force myself to live for something I don’t really desire.” – Chang Hee, Ep 13
“Why do you act like you’ve done something wrong when you’re asking for what’s rightfully yours?” -Mr. Gu
“I want to face the mountains one by one instead of avoiding them.“ -Gi Jeong
“I think I would be liberated if I shaved my head.“ -Gi Jeong
“The words sit on the tip of your tongue wanting to come out. But you swallow them back down. That’s when you know you’re an adult.” -Chang Hee, Ep 14
“I want all of us to be happy. As bright and cheery as a sunny day. Without so much as a crease in our hearts.” – Mi Jung
Already the fourth month of 2022 wow. There isn’t much going on, really. Things have fallen into rhythmic monotony – a constant cycle of work and rest. A typical work day sees me aggressively typing away by my desk, spewing sentences after sentences from my head onto paper, until a state of procrastination washes over me and I scroll endlessly on my phone, waiting for the expanding guilt to properly hit me before I force myself back to work again.
I love the routine and my job and the moments of respite in between, but in all honesty, I do itch for an adventure. I get too comfortable too often and I stay in that bubble for what seems like forever, entirely satisfied.
Venturing outdoors helps. Then again, there’s only so much you can explore in tiny Penang, and quaint cafes happen to be the island’s forte and my thing.
Ome Spacebar Coffee is that coffee spot I absolutely adore but I rarely frequent because of the horrendous parking and my finicky-ass when it comes to cafe seatings. I get lucky every so often, and I stay as long as I can.
I made my mum tag along, I knew she would love their brew. We queued under the heat for several minutes, and I took that chance to stand (shamelessly) in the middle of the road for the perfect shot of their gorgeous verdant entrance. Green tendrils and garlands of leaves intertwine the wires around the doorway and droop carelessly, purple flowers bestrewing the shrubs. It’s lovely.
One thing I can guarantee is, Ome’s coffee NEVER disappoints. They don’t balk at my request to have my coffee dairy-free as well, they just make it work. I swear if another coffee connoisseur gets all appalled at my Soy Latte order, I’ll be giving them a blow-by-blow account of me exploding it in the toilet.
Their cakes and pastries are only meant to complement the beverages, but we found them every bit as good as the coffee. Their Brownie (my mum always fall prey to brownies) were so moreish, the quality of the chocolate used got increasingly prominent with every bite. We also got an Almond Orange slice, which was alright apart from its slightly gooey texture. My mum smiled through each mouthful, and I wonder if she was put off by the gritty bits, the amount paid for it on her mind.
As much as I’d love to make the cafe my sacred reading and writing place, hipsters that horde the cafe can be as terrifying as a herd of rampaging bulls, and sometimes even more so for someone as er, uncool as I am. Don’t take an extreme introvert’s word for it though, the baristas in Ome are extremely friendly, always ready for a conversation more so when it centers around coffee.
It was a great first day of 2022. I got especially excited when someone blasted Hello Future out loud by accident and I cricked my neck trying to search for the source. What an apt anthem to the start of a new year too.
I’ve been waiting for you, welcome Wherever it may be, we’re coming together
Don’t worry about anything It’ll be alright, Hello Future
Because I met you, we shine brighter together
Let’s build only beautiful memories On our way up, Hello Future
So for my birthday I made a cake that makes sense to ME.
Pisces Cake!!
It’s an actual representation of what goes on in my head, I feel like.
Self-inflicted anxiety sprouting like weeds, blossoming of wildly unrealistic scenarios, splashes of seemingly inescapable deep dark voids, uncontainable emotions – a mess, really.
Then there’s the awkward attempt to mask them all as, you know, a mystic beauty, an artful mess, just a tad bit sensitive, NOT delusional just harmless wishful thinking, maybeididcryoverthatmovieforthefifthtimebutimgood.
I really am. Been a journey but it was only in recent years that I have actually embraced all of my quirks I had been convinced would be my downfall.
I think A LOT, I feel a fuck ton, but that is me. And it feels great to have this beautiful cake be the portrayal of the mayhem in me.
Here’s a short journal from my solo trip to New Zealand waaaaay back in 2019. I’m not sure why I never thought to make a blog post out of it, so this is long-overdue. I guess I just couldn’t find the right words to express how amazing the trip was and how cherished it is to me. Not that I am confident that I can recount my experience better now, but I do want to leave some photographs here; every shot was easily stunning. Postcard views everywhere. I hope I do my best in the brief telling of my time in this paradise.
Queenstown Gardens
New Zealand was all sunshine and greens for me. I saw it best in its chilly summer. There’s something about the lucid palette of nature and daylight, the sound of waves lapping, and the smell of mellow produce. It’s a place that felt like it held endless opportunities to explore and to be, yet satiates the serenity I always look for so deeply. I was always out basking in the sun, walking amongst shophouses, exploring grocery stores (I spent a good amount of time there very consistently), visiting parks and libraries, sitting on the grass with my meals; pure therapy.
Solo traveling is trialing, no doubt; it could go extremely wrong or it could be one of the best things that happened to you. For me, it was the latter. Apart from some, er, unnecessary mini breakdowns and brief panic outbursts I had (I overreact quite a bit, I’m sorry), nothing could ruin the trip, really. I made friends from all over the world and despite the language barrier, we had a blast exploring together. My Asian ass did crave noodles and economy rice occasionally but the meals I had with my fellow roommates or by lakes and amidst the green, was rejuvenating. I miss them and everything NZ.
I don’t even like burgers but Fergburger is an exception.
Chocolate Chip Cookie from Fergbaker. I had a different pastry/dessert every day for breakfast from this bakery, I couldn’t resist
Patagonia Ice cream – Gigantum scoops of black forest cheesecake and dark chocolateice cream
I still cannot fathom how good this Boston Cream Doughnut from Fergbaker was
Fresh raspberryice cream from the Farmers’ Market
Coffee in NZ. Not particularly great, I’ll be honest.
But perfect for the weather.
Best Ugly Bagel in Wellington. Truly the best.
Farmer’s market in Wellington
A fruit store on the journey to Mount Cook. It was stone fruit season! My favorite.
Domain Wintergardens in Auckland
I spent a good amount of time at local bookstores and libraries!
8pm in NZ. This is mad.
Lake Wanaka. One of my favorite places from the trip
The view of Wellington from the top of a tower
Had a picnic at Cornwall Park, Auckland with a dear old friend
I visited 3 cities; Queenstown, Wellington, and finally Auckland. And many other scenic spots thrown in between. The list includes Mount Cook, Lake Wanaka, Wellington Botanics Garden, Domain Wintergardens, Cornwall Park, Auckland Sky Tower, and more. Each day was a different rendition, it exhilarated me. New places to explore and capture, a different type of fresh fruit from the market, pastries for dinner because I felt like it, a friend I met by the park or library and then getting coffee together after. Most times, I find comfort in a routine daily groove but solo-traveling in New Zealand brought out my instinctive need to adventure. Here’s to the beauty of spontaneity!
There are plenty more places and cities to see still. I hope I’ll be able to experience this again. But until then, there are photographs to reminisce and to elicit the wonder I felt then. How grateful I am for these.
joopoo 