One's arguably the biggest female tennis star on the planet. (Or No. 1A after Serena). The other is a Los Angeles Lakers scrub. And now they're engaged. According to reports, Sasha Vujacic -- this guy, FYI -- popped the question to Maria Sharapova, who said yes.

What, you're surprised?

Here's the thing about being a Laker: it's the sweetest gig in pro sports. Straight magic. (No pun intended). A life-changing thing, and always for the better. Not convinced? Consider:

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• Los Angelenos have been scheming and squabbling and failing to attract an NFL franchise for nearly two decades … but the minute an uber-popular ex-Laker makes a single remark about buying a team, everyone assumes he'll find a way to make it work.

• You can date a Kardashian sister … and somehow come off as a sympathetic figure.

You can perform a victory parade dance that's the equivalent of William Hung singing "Rocket Man" … and be fondly remembered.

• You have two more NBA championship rings than Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller and Karl Malone … and your name is Adam Morrison.

• As soon as you join the Lakers, you're considered one of the elite big men in basketball … as opposed to a Euro-softie career loser who plays in Memphis. Or was it Vancouver?

• Your headcase status shifts from alarming … to charming.

• You can fish off the company pier with the boss' daughter … and your boss gives you a raise.

• LeBron's summer of self-indulgent image immolation makes you 10 times more likable and admired … even though you're still the exact same prickly hyper-competitor who sometimes rides a helicopter to the office.

• You're the two-time defending champions and one of the league's glamour teams … and yet you get to fly under the radar, pressure-free, because everyone is suddenly obsessed with three guys who have one NBA title among them.

• You get to play in the Staples Center … and not wear Clippers uniforms.